Judge ye not

Never judge a book by its cover. An adage that purports to keep us “open-minded”. 

Try as we may, we just can’t seem to help ourselves. Life without judgments can leave us twisting in the wind but when taken to the extreme inhibits our experiences and ability to grow.

Humans are complex and able to process information rapidly a.k.a instincts. This is why “first” impressions are deemed so critical. Seeing leads to believing and we will happily fill in any blanks to draw an immediate conclusion. Next!!

                                                                                                                  

Our environments are highly dependent on evaluating and categorizing. We are designed to make sense of it all while sifting through what stays and what goes. This technique influences many areas of our lives e.g. friendships, romance and career paths to name a few. 

But wouldn’t it be interesting to see what would happen if our mechanisms were to halt just long enough to delay an initial reaction? Perhaps this is why we’re admonished about making assumptions. How much can you really learn about someone or something when performing a perfunctory assessment?

If you’ve ever wandered through a bookstore, it isn’t uncommon to peruse titles, read a back cover or even check out a page or two to see what piques interest? Prologues, movie trailers, teasers are all snippets designed to “wet our appetites” and entice further exploration. All good when making innocuous and lighthearted choices, however, what happens when the stakes are higher?

Ah, not so fast or perhaps fast enough. Our latent desire to “box it” goes full throttle and weeding out can occur without even a word having been spoken.  Interesting that we may invest hours looking for music or books but will appraise an individual almost instantaneously.

To elaborate further, I’ll share a recent experience I had during an interview at one of those discount retail stores. I decided to walk in after noticing a posted “Now Hiring” sign. Hey, a girl has to eat! Anyway, I was filling out my application while uncomfortably seated in plain view in a lousy fold away chair at the entrance of the store. As I was finishing up, I saw a petite, middle aged woman walk through so I smiled at her. After all, the position I was applying for was customer service oriented. She didn’t smile back but sheepishly looked away. Okay, whatever.

Once I’d completed my application, I asked the security guard if there was anyone in particular I should provide this to. He kindly sought out the appropriate employee and when he pointed her out, lo and behold the petite woman I’d seen earlier was already speaking with her. As I approached, I maintained a respectable distance so as not to disturb the conversation. Turned out the woman had been there several times before and was aggressively pursuing the position for which she’d applied. The employee was courteous and told her that the manager wouldn’t be in until the following day. Clearly disappointed, the petite woman reluctantly left.

Since I was in earshot, I had no expectations other than to hand in my application and thank the nice lady. However, that’s not what happened. She began to review my application right then and there and enthusiastically asked if I would stay put while she found a manager who could speak with me? Wait, what? A moment ago there was no such person available but I realized some “cherry picking” was taking place. I admit that I felt a little guilty though not blind to these tactics. This type of unfairness will persist despite my disdain.

Fast forward to meeting the manager, a thirty something stout gentleman who began studying my application (such a foreign instrument since I hadn’t filled one out in over two decades). He commenced with the typically expected questions and it was only when he flipped my application over did his demeanor change. At that moment he was fixated on my previous salary like a Rottweiler to steak bone. He looked up at me with an air of disgust and said “Wow, I don’t think you would be suitable for this job because you’ll never make anywhere near what you had before; but thank you”.  Mind you, even though what I noted was a mere fraction that was all it took to rule me out.

It was both surreal and annoying but not the first time that I’ve experienced something similar during my ongoing searches. So should I take from this; If you’ve done well before don’t come knocking at our door? Promise, the rhyming was unintentional.  Basically in the span of an hour I encountered two very different reactions. One book: two endings.

I’ve read that first impressions can be decided in roughly thirty seconds. Well it’s no wonder that there are a billion plus people on the planet! At that rate, high turnover is inevitable so this calls for a significant amount of meeting, greeting and discarding. Do you really believe that someone can size YOU up in thirty seconds, thirty minutes or even thirty days? Probably not, but they will.

To impress upon the analogy, books have covers. The covers are the window dressing designed to protect the content. The content can be likened to the heart of the book which is filled with events, details and passion intended to impart a better understanding of its purpose. The conclusion comes at the end, after reading the book.  If you never get past the cover, you will never really know the story. Just sayin’….

Judgments are here to say but maybe the next time you’re about to bypass a “book”, challenge your organizational constitution and  see what comes of it. You never know, lightning could strike?